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  • Writer's pictureLarry Williamson

Work/Life Balance for Men: Comfort Zones and Egos

Lets stir the pot a little today.  Many men are great at achieving the balance that is right for them and they are comfortable with that.  Others, not so much.  How much of our resistance to broaden our perceived roles is restricted by our comfort zones and egos? We each have our roles and we get comfortable with them, even if they were not really created by us. With many men our egos are tied to what we do, our job, our title, etc. 

Even if we feel it, we are slow to admit or even talk about the possibly we could be spending too much time at work, resulting in a negative impact on our home life.  I recently had a client tell me he works as hard and travels like his father did.  His mother never complained (at least that he heard) to his father and he wished his wife was the same way.  What do you think the impact of conditioning played on the creation of his perception of his role with his family? Well guess what, times and social norms are changing, some faster than others.

If we expand our roles in some way, does this come with a fear we are then giving up something else?  Does it challenge our egos? Either way, we are dealing with change, and lets face it, people for the most part resist change. We know that people will do more to avoid pain than they will to seek pleasure, and change represents pain. Change can create emotional pain, and ironically, the body reacts to emotional pain the same as it does physical pain. The brain likes to maintain homeostasis (it likes balance) to guard the body from threats. Change disrupts this and the body's reaction is to engage the limbic system,  creating the proverbial fight or flight response.  Any wonder we can be slow to change?

Is it the men themselves who are resisting this change, or is society as a whole resisting change in some way and we are just reacting to this?  Your thoughts?

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